By Heba Sayed
Navigating college—and life in general—can be incredibly lonely, especially as a first-generation student. Without family or friends who truly understood the college experience, adapting to this new world often felt like a stressful journey, one I had to tackle alone. In high school, I hardly knew where to start with college applications, and figuring things out independently was overwhelming. Each decision—from choosing schools to filling out financial aid forms stressful, and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t jealous of my classmates who had people in their lives guiding them through it all.
When I finally entered college, I assumed that getting good grades and attending class would be enough to succeed. I didn’t realize that college requires much more, especially as a software engineering major. Beyond academic performance, I should have been networking, joining clubs, building programming projects, and creating a strong foundation for my future career. I look back now at my first two years and realize how unaware I was of the “unwritten rules” of college life, particularly in such a competitive field. A part of me wishes I had someone to warn about these things—maybe I would be in a different place today.
Through all of this, I knew I was struggling. I also knew that if I had sought help, I would have surely found it. But instead of seeking out help, I fell into a pattern of extreme self-reliance. I became so hyper-independent that asking for help felt almost impossible, even when I knew it would benefit me. Part of me believed I needed to figure things out on my own. Perhaps a part of me even felt embarrassed to admit how lost I felt or how inexperienced I was. I saw classmates who seemed to know the “rules” and felt like I was behind them simply because I was a first-generation student.
Recognizing that my hyper-independent mindset was holding me back, I decided to take small but meaningful steps to break free from this isolation. I began attending office hours, meeting with my advisor, joining clubs, and making new friends. I gradually became more open about my struggles and started seeking advice from others. While these changes felt uncomfortable—and sometimes still do—they have been crucial in my growth.
Even now, I occasionally catch myself reverting to the belief that I don’t need anyone’s help, but I’ve come to understand that this mindset only hinders my progress. Being a first-generation student can often feel isolating, yet I’ve realized that asking for support is not a weakness—it’s a strength. No one succeeds entirely on their own, and seeking guidance is a vital part of learning and growing. It’s okay to be vulnerable, to acknowledge when you’re struggling, and to ask for help—because that’s how we grow and move forward.
